How An Old Man Put A (heavy) Bounce In My Pregnant Step

An old man hit on me in the gas station this morning.  

He was harmless, had hair the color of white lightening, a bulging pot belly, and a huge grin which spread right into his ruddy red cheeks.  He was pushing 70 and he had a side-kick with him, another elderly man not quite as advanced in years.

"I like your dress, " said the old man with the grey hair.

"Thank you," I responded.  I had just dropped my supplies onto the gas station counter to pay and he was standing right behind me.

"I mean, it's really pretty.  Very nice," he said again.  I could feel his eyes boring into my skin.  The intense stares made me feel uncomfortable and I was not flattered by his words of "affirmation," so I put my hand on my hip and turned around to face him.

"You mean you think fat pregnant lady dresses are pretty?" I asked sarcastically, my eyebrows raised in suspicion.  My belly swelled between the two of us.

"No, I thought what was in the dress was pretty," he responded with a wink.

"Huh," I scoughed, rolled my eyes, and turned back to the cashier to finish my business.

He mumbled something about how he would never have known I was pregnant had I not mentioned it and he wondered if I was having a girl or a boy.  He was sheepish.

"A boy," I said without turning around, and handed the cashier money my money. 

The old man started pontificating about how boys are so much easier than girls and wasn't I lucky to be having a boy and on and on and on, when I interrupted him, grabbed my keys and snacks to leave, and said...

"You boys have a nice day, OK?"

And out I went to my coveted 15 passenger ride wearing my fat lady's maxi dress...and I'll go ahead and admit it--I sported a heavy bounce in my pregnant step.  

Watch out, John Duggan, because I still got it, even if it's only for the 60 and older crowd.

John took this "flattering" photo of me last week.  Colleen Duggan: turning the heads of old men everywhere.